Georgia Governor Angers the One True God by Praying to Yahweh for Rain
Posted On November 27, 2007
Satire Kelly and I wrote on the Georgia prayer situation.
Rational Response Squad News Service
Associated Atheist Press
Staff Writer: Bizarro Kelly SapientMon Nov 19, 1:04 PM ET
Atlanta, GA – It’s completely obvious that the damage caused by rainstorms in drought-stricken Georgia was caused by their blatant blasphemous beseeching of Yahweh–another one of those false ancient deities–for rain. Witnesses at Governor Sonny Perdue’s prayer service reported that he seemed completely unaware that if Yahweh did exist, his bible specifically calls those who pray in public hypocrites. (Mat 6:5-9).
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
The Flying Spaghetti Monster was riled up by such blatant disregard for his supreme sovereignty sent rain to assert his power over all of creation. The wrath of FSM poured down upon Atlanta like Holy Marinara from the heavens. Damaging a Baptist church, an ambulance service, and even a city hall building, FSM is tearing down the temples in the high places–All praise His Noodly Appendages. He also completely demolished a home and injured three children.
An FSM spokesperson was quoted as saying… “When we allowed the whole Christianity thing to happen, we never thought it’s followers would turn out to be so completely ignorant of their own religion. I mean… we wrote the book, it’s all there. If they’d just shut their public prayer pie holes the FSM would not have been this mad.”