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We’re giving Christians a free public service announcement all day on Christmas day andstarting on Christmas Eve (we’re anxious to give gifts of reality!)…
Atheist appeasers and Christians meet Shalini, your philosophical superior who will be in the RRS webcam room all day Christmas to answer your charges! Christians will receive free burden of proof presents, and hopeful messages of reality reminding them that their God couldn’t possibly exist. Enjoy Saturnalia the traditional way steal it and use it for your own gain! Unlike the Christians, we won’t be murdering you for 1400 years after we claim the day for ourselves! Join us on newly named ChristMyAss! day! The newest holiday built on a message of reality… the Christian god never existed, never could exist, and is merely stolen (ironically) by dozens of other religions that predate it!
Happy ChristMyAss everyone! Where we won’t send you to an eternity of torture (or back down from our views for that matter), because we actually do give a crap about you.
Other recent issues:
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An amusing development is the three (?) threads about our ads at Democratic Underground. Unfortunately, two have been archived and one is in a donors only section, so I wasn’t able to invite them over here for a nice healthy debate on the definition of pornography, the objectification of women, and maintaining rational and effective marketing. No matter what our individual desires or wishes are concerning the more…primitive… parts of our brain, I feel that in order to achieve our goals as a group, it would behoove us to work with those inclinations rather than against them. Statistics support that theory, and I would even argue that part of our success would fall into that category as well. (Not trying to sound conceited–just saying…) Of course, most of you already know this since it has already been beaten to death on the forums.
The other amusing thing is that Laura Ingraham, who had Brian on her show last year and was absolutely, insanely, mortifyingly rude and dishonest, has a new piece of sh…oops…book out and talks about Brian and us godless heathens for about three pages. (p. 294-6) I don’t think she realizes that she manages to acheive the elusive self-pwn in the transcript of the small parts of the interview during which Brian’s mic wasn’t muted. She says, “I believe love comes from God…” and Brian responds with a much more plausible scenario–that it is a combination of natural selection and societal pressure, essentially–and she goes on to say, “Why do we have Good Samaritans?” (p. 296) Hey Laura, try opening that bible some day! The whole point of that parable was that the only person who stopped to help the man who had been robbed and beaten was not only a heathen, but an enemy of the man that he helped. The moral of the story is that the Samaritan was a good person despite all of that, and that claiming an affiliation with a particular religion does not make you a paragon of virtue. I still stand by the name she was given from that day–which isn’t really suitable for reprint here. (F.S.C. *Lolz*)
Satire Kelly and I wrote on the Georgia prayer situation.
Associated Atheist Press
Staff Writer: Bizarro Kelly SapientMon Nov 19, 1:04 PM ET
Atlanta, GA – It’s completely obvious that the damage caused by rainstorms in drought-stricken Georgia was caused by their blatant blasphemous beseeching of Yahweh–another one of those false ancient deities–for rain. Witnesses at Governor Sonny Perdue’s prayer service reported that he seemed completely unaware that if Yahweh did exist, his bible specifically calls those who pray in public hypocrites. (Mat 6:5-9).
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
The Flying Spaghetti Monster was riled up by such blatant disregard for his supreme sovereignty sent rain to assert his power over all of creation. The wrath of FSM poured down upon Atlanta like Holy Marinara from the heavens. Damaging a Baptist church, an ambulance service, and even a city hall building, FSM is tearing down the temples in the high places–All praise His Noodly Appendages. He also completely demolished a home and injured three children.
An FSM spokesperson was quoted as saying… “When we allowed the whole Christianity thing to happen, we never thought it’s followers would turn out to be so completely ignorant of their own religion. I mean… we wrote the book, it’s all there. If they’d just shut their public prayer pie holes the FSM would not have been this mad.”